Thinking back, our wedding feels like so long ago but then again it feels like just yesterday. I wanted to share some things that I’ve learned about marriage in the last ten years.
Communication is KEY. My husband and I have been together for 19 years but even still today communication is so important. The moment I start feeling distant or disconnected I know it’s due to lack of communication in some area.
Make time to be together but also be your own person. We spend lots of time together, especially with the girls but we also have regular dates and alone time as well. It’s important to be a family together, a couple, and an individual. If we don’t get any three of these times our marriage can feel the strain.
Be grateful. I am grateful for everything my husband does and whether it’s a new diamond ring for our anniversary (oh yes he did) or my morning shake, I say thank you. I am so grateful my husband is so helpful and I am sure to let him know. No one likes to feel unappreciated.
Put the phone down. Between email, social media, news, and texting, we could easily be on our phones all night. It is so important to make time and give each other undivided attention. I have to be reminded at times to put my phone down, it's so easy to forget. The distraction on a phone doesn't show you are listening or invested.
Always kiss goodbye and say I love you.
Learn your spouse’s love language. While we were planning our wedding, the pastor that was to perform our ceremony, who is also a family friend, recommended to us The Five Love Languages. This book is eye opening. Not only did we learn about ourselves but also learned about what each other needs. It makes total sense after the fact that not everyone feels love in the same way but hearing it and reading about it was a big light bulb moment for us. We read it again about 5 years into our marriage and due to life experiences and situations, our love languages had changed. During the beginning of our marriage, “words of affirmation” was my strongest language but after a job that took me out of town often, my love language shifted more toward “quality time”. I think it’s so important to love someone in the language in which they feel loved most.