When my husband and I were engaged to be married, a family friend who would be our wedding officiant recommended a book for us to read titled "The 5 Love Languages". This book started out by explaining how everyone gives and receives love in different ways such as personal touch or quality time. The author then described the different love languages and there was a quiz in the back to see which love language we each had.
We've referred to the book many times, seeing how not only our love language affected our relationship but how our own love languages changed over time as our priorities changed. We came quite versed in these, taking the quiz a few times throughout our marriage. We also began recognizing and understanding others love languages through everyday interactions. When Henley was born she always needed us close by, even just to touch us with one hand. I knew from the start her love language was personal touch.
There were many, many hours spent driving around with my arm stretched into the backseat to hold her hand as she was rear-facing, even as young as two months old. Up until about a year ago, she would always have her fingers in her mouth and would pinch our hands or elbows with her other hand, sometimes causing pain with those tiny little nails. Hanging out before bed on the couch is typically spent touching side-by-side. Even now, when I lay with her to go to sleep she is rubbing my arm or pinching my elbow.
Fell asleep at 17 months holding my hand through the crib
In the moment this can get tiring. My arm would ache on long drives being stretched towards the back of the car. After a long day of work I just wanted to be left alone, not constantly touching or being pinched. I may have snapped a time or two that I just need space, immediately feeling bad. Thinking back now, this little person was comforted just by touching our hand, all fears and concerns melted away. Her pinching your elbow became a great compliment, if she felt comfortable and trusted you, she would melt into you and would start pinching.
Now that Macie is getting older we are already starting to see what we think her love language is, Word of Affirmation. Macie loves hearing she's done a good job. When she goes on the potty she pops up (before even wiping at times) and runs into the other room to tell Daddy "pee pee!!!" with so much excitement. She loves getting a rise and making people laugh, sometimes being a little mischievous but even then it's pretty cute.
I'm not sure if these perceived love languages will continue as they get older but I love feeling like I have a one-up on them, knowing how they feel love and being conscious to let them be loved that way. If you haven't read the book I highly recommend it. It's interesting to see things you never really put into words describing exactly how you feel.
Hope you guys are having a good weekend. I am glad for the weekend to be here, this Tuesday alone felt like two days long.