We have had a routine over the last few weeks that has looked a little like this. I lay with Henley in her bed until she falls asleep. I hear blood curdling screams for “Maaamaaaa” around midnight, go to her room and bring her back in our bed until morning. Around 6am Macie joins the crew and we are all snuggled into bed until around 7am. One night of this wouldn’t be bad, a few periodic nights of this is manageable. Every night like this is not okay.Read More
I sat in my hospital bed, sore and lonely. I was nursing my beautiful new baby, yet again, through the pain. I have been here before, I shouldn't have been surprised by the pain. She was crying and inconsolable and I was overwhelmed. My eyes were puffy from crying, I could feel it.Read More
I am currently reading a series of essays posted by the Atlantic about women’s ambition, specifically what happens to it after we leave college. The essays are enlightening and I see hints of myself peppered all throughout. The basis of the series focuses on a group of 37 women that went to college together and graduated in 1993. Two of the women have interviewed the others to see where they are in life and in their careers over twenty years later, how did they get there, and what drove their decisions. The entire time I’m reading this I am thinking of my own journey. Here I am, over ten years post-college, how did I get here? How much of my decisions were need-based versus what I truly wanted.
Do you ever feel like your mind is in a thousand different places? I usually enjoy multitasking. I love being busy and I love having a lot going on around me. On the flip side though I've learn that I need time to myself to unwind, to feel human.
Lately I have made an effort to be more conscious of setting aside time for me, whether that time is spent relaxing or working on something creative. Often times these things are opposites and I feel the pull when it comes time to me to decide how to spend my free time.
During the day my mind is mostly busy with work. Of course there are times when I will get an email or hear a song that will remind me of something I want to do or something I need jot down but overall, I am set with my tasks at hand until I leave there for the day. From the time I get home until Macie's bedtime around 7:30, we are busy with dinner, baths, playtime, reading books, and bedtime. Once Macie is in bed sleeping, I am available for a little me time, sometimes however this is where the struggle begins.
Something along these lines is a familiar internal battle I have....
Should I take a relaxing bath and read?
Should I work on my Year of Creativity, I want to blog, improve my writing, and connect with the awesome group of women on this journey with me.
I could always grab my markers and spend some time lettering, or coloring and wind down for a bit with a glass of wine.
Do I go sit with Henley for an hour of snuggles, playtime, or TV with just her?
Should I start a movie with my husband to spend some time with him?
And as always, I could work on something around the house --- laundry, bathroom cleaning, picking up, etc.
It never ends. I want to do it all---I want to read all 27 notifications on Facebook and I want to read all of the unread blogs in my feed. I want to take a long, hot bath while reading a few chapters of my book. I want to close out the night with an awesome blog post that you all will love to read but realistically, that can't happen.
My mind is this open browser with a million tabs open and sometimes I feel like a toddler haphazardly clicking the mouse, opening and closing them all at random. Most nights I can successfully choose one of these options but sometimes I can't decide and end up being sucked into my phone by default and waste the whole night away, leaving me frustrated with myself.
I am glad I took the time to decide what I want to work on for me for this year because I feel now at least I am aware of the struggle. Before I wasn't even aware of these internal struggles I was having. I would just end up in bed dissatisfied at the end of the night because I didn't actually do anything, even becoming bitter at times.
I'm not perfect and I am still working to find the right balance for me but I'm getting there. I've had some great nights lately, even if it's just two hours of doing something that I want to do. I feel like acknowledging things I want to work on or things I want to do helps me to focus and not feel overwhelmed, therefore making me a happier, more relaxed, wife and mother.
Tonight was spent working on some watercolor hand lettering and finishing this blog along with some tickle time with Henley. I am not one to believe it's possible to have it all but sometimes it can feel pretty damn close.
I came to the realization this week that not only is Adele the most amazing singer EVER but also such a down to earth person. A few friends and I attended her concert in Miami and it was everything I imagined and more. She opened with Hello of course and the show just got better and better. It ended with our whole row in tears while she said “Someone Like You”.
This was also my first night away from the girls alone. Daddy did amazing and the girls were well behaved and everything!
Time flies by. I know that is such a common saying but everyone says it because it’s so true!
I recently found myself referring to someone that is 26 as “about my age”. That’s not true obviously. Someone that is 26 is eight years younger than me but that’s honestly what it feels like. However looking back it does make sense that I’m 34. I’ve been out of college and in the working world for over ten years. I have been a mom for four years. I have been with my husband for nineteen years and we’ve been married for ten of those years. Not to mention the countless life lessons I’ve learned about the world and also about myself.
I am a procrastinator. I never really gave myself that label before but over time I realize that I push everything down to the wire. If there is no deadline, I accomplish most of my goals eventually but if there is a deadline, I’m usually working right up to that moment, maybe a few hours before. My work day usually begins with catching up on Facebook and the news rather than knocking out my list and using any free time at the end of the day to catch-up.
I am introverted. I’m friendly, chatty even at times but for the most part I want to keep to my world (my friends, my family, my turf). I make plans with good intentions but usually have thoughts to cancel. If I don’t cancel, I usually do have fun but sometimes in the moments leading up to it, I have second thoughts and regret committing.
I love Pinot Noir and I love knowing which wines I love. I also love that I know which wines I like best with which foods.
I value friends but I’ve learned I can break-up with a friend if it’s in the best interest of both of us and that’s ok. Friendships are needed in those moments you just need a reprieve; whether it be a break from work, kids, or real life, friends are there. Friendships are easy and natural and for the friendships that are not these things, it’s ok if they are no more. Life is too short; time and energy too limited to be expended on friendships that aren’t enjoyable.
I love Target, like LOVE. I love that I can redecorate my patio while picking up wipes and yogurt. I love that I live three miles from one. I love that I can peruse the aisles with a Starbucks tea and a cake pop. I love that my girls love Target as much as I do. ::keep up the good work Target::
I find peace in a good book and I’ve learned that a bath can heal almost anything.
I value people. I will not put others down to make myself look better and I will not step on someone to get higher. I put family above work at all times. I know I only get 18 or so years with my girls and no job or promotion is worth missing out on any moment with them.
I do not have a poker face. I wear my thoughts and emotions and it’s felt in my demeanor. I do not play games and I am genuine.
I am capable of more love than I could have ever fathomed 15 years ago. I love my husband more every day. I love my girls each so much. I love my family and my friends. I love this life I have built with them.
I am so blessed to have all I do. Who knows where I’ll be in another ten years but based on the last ten, I look forward to seeing it.
This year is my first full year (and a half) that I not only purchased a planner but stuck with it and used it. I carry it with me every day. I love the layout and I love that I can jot notes down and refer to them all year round. I keep track of appointments, party planning, to do lists, and so much more.
In 2015 I stumbled upon the Erin Condren Life Planner. I did a quick #hashtag search and was blown away. This chick had gotten the everyday planner right. I loved the images I saw and immediately was on the hunt. I purchased the 18 month calendar and haven't doubted my decision once.
Some things I really love about this planner are its ease of use, I love the stickers that are available all over Etsy (and can be found at places like Michaels as well).
I LOVE the Polaroid Zip camera. I got this camera from my husband for my birthday. It connects to your phone via Bluetooth and will wirelessly print your pictures from an app on your phone. The prints have an adhesive back and fit perfectly in the date boxes in the EC Planner. You can also make collages or smaller prints as well.
I've already ordered my 2017 planner and I cannot wait to start filling it will plans and events. For 2017 I mixed it up a bit, I bought the horizontal layout and opted for neutrals over colored monthly themes. We will see if I like it as much or more than the vertical, colorful layout.
Are any of your old school planners or note takers? Have you found a perfect planner that suits your life? Please share!
Until next time...